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Why do we struggle to be ourselves online?

I spend a lot of time thinking about why people struggle to be themselves online.

The obvious answer is fear of judgment by others, but it’s deeper than that.

Why do we fear judgment of others?

Had a bit of an A-HA moment on that recently…

We humans are used to conforming who we are to our geographic surroundings (herd mentality & and all that). Deep down, we crave belonging & want to fit in.

And that made sense when you lived in the same town you were born in all your life. Or when you moved to a new city and were looking to make friends. Or start working at a company.

But in a world where we can form global relationships online, we no longer need to worry as much about fitting into the physical community in which reside. Instead, we can build our own communities filled with people who appreciate us for who we genuinely are.

That’s liberating AF.

Asking “I can be myself and trust that the right audience will manifest over time?” Sure feels a lot better than asking “what if they don’t like me?”

Now I’m not suggesting that we should all become hermits who never socialize at the neighborhood pool or hang at the block parties—I’m the guy who usually hosts them! —the point I’m making is that we have a bigger opportunity to cast a wider relationship net simply by being ourselves online than any generation before us.

Because when we give people a window into our personal world online, inevitably some people will come knocking on the virtual front door with opportunity.

Be that friendship.
Be that partnership.
Be that employment/financial benefit.

All because we decided not to hold back sharing who we are online for fear of judgment from others.

By showing up as our true selves online, we manifest serendipity.

It’s an ethos I’ve espoused for some years, but it took me nearly 40 years to arrive at this conclusion. It took a CMO offering me a career pivot simply because he “liked how I showed up on Linkedin.”

Not joking.

And when that company was acquired and I was eventually let go, I launched my own personal brand consultancy on Linkedin.

Made 70% of my prior salary in the first year.

All because I just started showing up online as my authentic, genuine self.

Following my fascination
Feeding my curiosity.
Sharing my thoughts.
Supporting others.

Showing up as myself online has changed my life (twice!) and I firmly believe that unless you’re a wretched human being (which I am sure you are not), there’s nothing but upside to showing up as yourself online.

You simply never know who is watching or what opportunities may appear.