When I Chose Presence Over Productivity

You’ll have to forgive me…

This edition is not about ai, branding, or business innovation.

I had this whole plan to do a long write-up about LinkedIn’s newest algorithm algorithm shift, which I referenced last week, but my wife is out of town on a well-deserved vacation girls trip so let’s just say the inmates are running the asylum over here and I’m behind on deadlines—I’m just now sitting down to write this at 11pm.

This is about gratitude

And it’s probably the closest thing you’ll see to what me writing in a journal looks like.

Six weeks ago, my 5-year-old broke her tibia, requiring her to be sidelined in a full leg-cast for 6 weeks. This week she got traded her cast for a boot and we’ve gone on daddy-daughter walks up and down our street every day since.

The first thing I’ll say is that I wildly underestimated how massive an impact a full-leg cast would have on a 5-year-old—she’s basically so used to not putting pressure on her food that she’s overly cautious. It’s as if she worries she’s going to break it again.

Understandable.

But these walks are such a bright spot in my day—just a dad and his daughter. No screens. No distractions. Just quality time making memories as we turn lemons into lemonade together.

Refreshing.

I count each step she takes and she grips my hand tight every time while leaning the other one on the little cane I got her. All the while she’s just chirping away telling me all sorts of things. This little light of mine…

When we get to 300 steps, she decides perhaps we should turn back. My God this girl is just such a trooper. Her optimism and positivity throughout the past 6-weeks has been truly inspiring to me.

I would be a mopey, whiny, annoying mess if I was in a full leg cast for 6 days.

After that, her and bro bro spent some time in the rocking chairs on our front porch while I played catch with Lucky, who was named after how I’m generally feeling in this season of life.

After Chef Dad’s specialty: air-fried chicken nuggets and Arby’s frozen curly fries, they had their little blue bell ice cream cups, watched an episode of Henry Danger, and then it was time to head to bed.

Skip the bath (because duh) and right to brushing.

Now, when mom is out of town, the kids love to sleep in our bed. I said yes once and so now it is written in stone that when mom is out of town, mom & dad’s bed is their crash pad. So we got nestled in for some 5-Minute Marvel Stories.

Tonight, my daughter opted to sleep upstairs because “we boys are sweaty and smelly,” which is fair & valid criticism that I cannot refute.

Perhaps we should have done bath time. Oops.

So after we put sister to bed, my son asked if I could just stay and cuddle with him before going to finish my work (a.k.a. this newsletter). “Just til I fall asleep” he said.

But of course, he wasn’t in a hurry to do that so we just sat for 90 minutes and talked. Not about anything in particular. Just about whatever was on his mind—schoolyard tales, random memories, and at one point started talking about colloid plasma, which came way out of left field for me.

“What is that?!” I asked, to which he replied, “you don’t even know what colloid plasma is? What did you learn in school?” I honestly can’t remember, but I’m pretty damn sure I was not taught about colloid plasma in 3rd grade. (I plexed it by the way, in case you don’t know either).

He kept talking.

And I kept listening.

I’d be willing to bet he told me more in that 90-minutes than he’s probably told me in three months even though I read to him every night. I could just feel him really opening up to me in a way that I don’t think I’ve experienced yet as a dad. It felt really cool.

At 10:30, he apologized for keeping me from my work. I told him he had nothing to apologize for, that I love talking with him, and that I want him to always feel like he can talk to me. That my work can wait.

I reminded him how lucky we are that I can make a living on my own schedule, but that it was late, so it was time for him to get some sleep.

And that’s when he said:

“this was the best part of my week, Dad.”

“yeah? Mine too, kiddo.”

I think my heart might have skipped a beat in that moment. That was full-on me realizing the magnitude of my presence and willingness to just listen to him—no judgement or corrections, no “teachable moments” dad schpeels, no assertion of parental control or adherence to the usual routine.

Upon further reflection, I realize that he doesn’t get a lot of moments like that. I’m normally the one who is always harping on about how “how bad iPads are for you” and how we “never get to bed on time” yada yada yada.

I didn’t know that if I just loosened up once in a while, I’d be able to establish such meaningful connection with my boy, who is now closer to manhood than he is birth, and I know that this time is fleeting.

That there will be a day when he doesn’t want a story. When he doesn’t want to cuddle. When he doesn’t want tell me about colloid plasma and mock me for not knowing.

So I might as well cherish these moments.

So I laid there for another 30 minutes because why not?

Once he was asleep, I got up and sat down to write this under the warm glow of my overhead desk lamp. Just me and my thoughts, typing away.

And while this isn’t the newsletter I was intending to write tonight, it turned out to be the right one because for the last 2 hours I’ve been basking in the feeling of being lucky.

• Lucky to be married to my best friend.
• Lucky to be responsible for these two beautiful humans.
• Lucky to have the flexibility as a business owner to start working on something at 11pm because your son wanted to stay up late to cuddle “this one time” and open up his entire world with you.

And I feel lucky to have you, the community I’ve built online. Because entrepreneurship can be a lonely road and we get by with a little help from our friends.

And so, friend, if you made it this far, I thank you so much. This was a special moment for me and I am honored you cared enough to read it. Now keep your fingers crossed that I don’t get benched again when mom returns :)

It’s 1:00am and time for this dad to get some rest.

If you enjoyed this, please restack or send it to a friend.

Hi5 & Have a great week!

LD

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